For Angels To Fly
by DangerousDream
Summary: Faced with a decision between what is right, and what is easy, Claire is weak. She's stronger than drugs. She doesn't need them. But even as she repeats this to herself, she doesn't know if she believes it. Can anyone save her before she falls?
1. Chapter 1

**Dedicated to Sophie, one of the awesomest people ever and my (fanfiction) partner in crime / new idea machine :P Thanks for the idea for this story (and all the others) :)**

I swung open the door to the glass house, my home. The familiar scent hit me, and the warmth of the place hugged me as I stepped inside. I was quiet shutting the front door, even though I knew my friends would hear me. They had probably been frantic. Darkness had fell over the streets like a blanket almost an hour ago, and I had walked home alone. Of course they were worried.

Myrnin and I have been working on a new system for Morganvilles which grants all protected humans in town to an alert system that tells the police when someone is being attacked. The trouble for this is getting it compact enough to fit into the bracelets, and efficient enough that the many different wavelengths won't interact with each other. That was easier said than done of course, and the work lately had been grueling; I'd been late home most nights lately, which was pretty dangerous in Morganville. I just had to keep reminding myself that t was for the greater good. It would save lives, which would be worth it in the end.

"You're late," Shane barked as I stepped through the door, "Again."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Oh yeah, as well as being being pushed to my limits every day at work, I had to deal with Shane's endless complaints when I got home. Usually, he blamed Myrnin, but occasionally, it was somehow my fault. Today was one of those night.

I loved the guy to death, but I was exhausted. Far too exhausted to deal with one of his lectures anyway. My bones ached and my eyelids felt like someone had attached weights onto them, they were so heavy. Each step was forced and lifeless as I trudged through the hall, dropping my bag at the bottom of the stairs and kicking off my converse.

"I know, Shane, and I'm sorry," I told him sincerely, before adding snarkely, "Again."

"You're cheating on me aren't you?"

"What? No!" I told him, honestly taken aback. He thought I was cheating on him? With Myrnin. Erm... No.

"I see no other explanation for why you're always home so late!" Shane growled and I sighed. I was just too tired to deal with this. I hadn't gotten to bed until 2am this morning and I was up at 6am. Tommorow was another early rise. I wasn't about to stand here and argue with him. I had to get to bed before I fell asleep right there and then.

"Shane, grow up! My work's important. If you don't like it, date someone else for God's sakes," his mouth gaped open and for a second, he stared at me blankly. He was clearly shocked that I had said that to him. I took my oppurtunity to race upstairs and run into my bedroom.

I waited a few seconds to see if he was going to follow me. I heard a few doors slam downstairs, but no footsteps coming up, so I figured he was done. I took a deep breath out and slid on my pyjamas and climbed into bed. I was absolutely exhausted.

When my head hit the pillow, however, I couldn't manage to close my eyes. My thoughts began to race at a thousand miles a minute. Did I remember to switch of the machine at Myrnin's? What was my history teacher saying again? Did I have physics tommorow, or had it been swapped for biochem?

_No, Claire, _I told myself, _none of that matters now, just go asleep. _Even as I said that, I knew it was impossible. I just had too much to do, and not enough time to do it all. I needed sleep, but I needed to get things done more. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and switched my light on, heading over to my desk. I opened my books and started to complete tasks and catch up on subjects I had missed while I was busy with Myrnin.

My mind was slow, and confused. I sighed. I couldn't sleep because I had things I needed to finish, but whenever I even _tried _to do anything, I just couldn't. Everything came out sloppy and incoherent. It was no use. I bought my head onto my desk and banged it up and down. Not enough to hurt myself, but enough to take out my frustration. It wasn't fair!

My life was a routine: get up, go to college, go to the lab, come home, sleep. I barely had time to eat anymore, and I could hardly remember the last time I truly had fun with friends, or even laughed at all. My relationship with Shane was suffering, and I had no idea what was going on with Eve and Michael because I never had time to speak to them anymore. I just needed something - sleep, a holiday, some kind of magic powers - anything that would just help me get my life back.

Little did I know, that I would get what I wanted... And worse.

**Sorry it's a little short, but it's only a first chapter so it's only just setting the scene. The real story begins in the next chapter ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

I groaned as the alarm clock rang. I swang my arm over the side of the best and fumbled aroud blindly, trying to turn it off. After a few seconds, I just sat up and turned it off. For a moment, I considered going back to bed and just forgetting about work and school, but I knew it was pointless. I was up now. I probably wouldn't get back to sleep anyway.

Last night had been another one of _those _nights. I had tossed and turned and cried and stared at the ceiling all night. I had probably gotten 4 hours of sleep at most. Usually, I'd b able to cope, but this cycle of sleepness nights had been going on for the past few weeks. I couldn't remember the last time I slept properly.

Actually, scratch that. I could remember. It was a few weeks ago. Finals were far away, work wasn't too demanding, Shane and I were going well - everything was fine. Ever since I had taken this project with Myrnin on, my life had been in shambles. Part of me wanted to drop it. I wanted so badly to turn around to Myrnin and tell him I wasn't doing this stupid bracelet thing. But the other half told me that it was for the best of Morganville. It would save lives, and if I dropped out, Myrnin wasn't going to continue it by himself, was he?

I showered quickly, not having the time to waste soaking under the hot water anymore. I slid on my jeans and a plain white t-shirt and applied some of Eve's concealer under my eyes to cover up the bags. I wiped the steamed mirror and smiled at myself. I could do this. I could.

I sighed and headed out of the bathroom. I grabbed my school bag and raced downstairs. I made my self a peice of toast, and wolfed it down quickly before checking the time. It was still only 6:30am, no one would be up for ages. Shane had a day off, Eve started at 9, and Michael only taught a few lessons in the late afternoon. They would all have another hour or two in bed. I suddenly felt very jealous. By the time I arrived at the lab, it was already 7.

"You're late." Myrnin told me simply, looking up from his book for a second to aknowledge me then returning to it.

I rolled my eyes, "I'm sick of people saying that to me lately," Myrnin looked up again, then squinted at me for a few seconds as I hung my bag up.

"Let me guess," Myrnin started, "Boy troubles?"

"You could say that,"

"What's Shame done now?" He asked, growling slightly. I didn't bother to correct him with Shane's name. Partly because I was tired, and partly because it was funny. I sighed and pulled up a stool beside Myrnin. It was slightly awkward that I was telling my boss about my boyfriend problems, but at the moment, I didn't really care.

"He's just so paranoid. If I'm even 5 minutes late home, he's convinced I'm cheating on him,"

"And I suppose that's my fault for keeping you late?" I felt myself fumbling for words for a second. I couldn't deny that it _was _Myrnin's fault, but that didn't mean that Shane had a right to be so angry about it.

"No," I paused, "Well, a little but he's just so horrible about it. I'm just so tired all the time and he knows that, but he still makes me feel like crap about it,"

"You're tired?" Myrnin asked, sounding geniunally concerned.

"All the time. I've been working so hard, I have exams coming up and I can't sleep on top of that. It's just exhausting,"

Myrnin tilted his head at me, before standing up and walking to the other side of the room. I followed him, confused as to what he was doing. Then he opened a draw that I hadn't even thought about for years and pulled out a small bag of red crystals. He slid the bag across the table to me. I picked them up and stared at them.

"You still have them?"

"Vampires get tired sometimes, too. Besides, it's good for when I want to get something done quicker," He explained. I nodded. That made sense. He looked fine, you would never be able to tell that he was taking a form of amphetamine. Maybe they weren't so bad after all.

"Aren't these drugs?" I asked him.

"Yes, I suppose," he told me after a moment of consideration, "But they won't hurt if you just take one or two, and I trust you, Claire. You're smart, you know what you're doing,"

I stared down at the bag again. I wasn't so sure that I _did _know what I was doing. These were drugs. I was agreeing to _drugs. _Even if I didn't plan to take them, I knew that having them there at all meant it a thousand times likely to have a moment of weakness and get in trouble. I knew from last time, drugs are addictive and once you take them, it's hard to stop. My mind flicked back to Monica and how she had collapsed after taking one of the crystals. That could be me, or one of my friends. If the police knew I had drugs, especially the ones that nearly killed the mayor's sister, I would be in deep trouble.

But on the other hand, Myrnin sounded so sure, and for all the time that I'd known him, he'd never really been wrong. I trusted him. If he said I was capable, I believed him. Besides, I was going to burn myself out if I kept going like this. I was going to lose something important to me if I kept trying to do everything all at once, whether it be my job, my grades or my friends and boyfriend. I couldn't afford to loose any. Plus, I could take them and stash them in my bag for emergencies. I didn't have to abuse them, I could just keep them for if I _really _needed them.

No! What am I doing? Agreeing to take drugs was crazy at best. I'm tired, and my logical processing abilities aren't what they normally are. That was the only reason I even contemplated it. Normally I'd say no to drugs without a second thought. I'm just tired.

"No," I said firmly, more for my reassurance than Myrnin's as I pushed the bag across the table and away from me, "No thanks, I can't afford to get involved with drugs," Myrnin gave me a agreeing nod. He even looked slightly proud that I had said no.

"Your choice. You're stronger than I, that is for sure," He said, sighing and sliding the bag back into the draw, "If you change your mind, you can message me on that teledevice thingy you youngs one are so engrossed with,"

"A phone?"

"Yes, that's it," I laughed and stood up, following Myrnin across the room. I was stronger than drugs. I didn't need them. But even as I repeated those mantras to myself, I couldn't quite believe them.


	3. Chapter 3

**So sorry if the format/actual writing for this chapter is awful. I'm writing on my tablet since my laptop completely gave up on me... I am not even amused right now but I wanted to upload this anyway.**

It was until later that evening that I began to crack. I had come home from the lab and went straight to my room in attempt to get some sleep so I wouldn't be so exhausted tomorrow. Well, that was the idea at least. I'd been about to fall asleep on the journey home, tripping over my feet and walking sloppily. I couldn't wait to finally get home so I could fall asleep. But now I was here, it wasn't happening. Staring blankly at the ceiling, I felt a silent, frustrated tear drop onto my cheek. _Damnit, _I thought, _I just want a few hours of uninterrupted sleep, is that too much to ask for?_

Sounds of laughters coming from down stairs drifted into my room like a poison. They were all downstairs having dinner and laughing like friends should be, and here I was, trying to fall asleep at 7 o'clock and actually get a good night's sleep for once. I let out a sob and rolled over onto my side, heaving the blanket up and over my head so I was completely cocooned in it and surrounded in darkness.

I gave a sigh of relief and exhaled deeply. This position was perfect. I began to feel drowsy very quickly as I felt sleep start to overcome me. My breaths got deeper and more regular and my mind started slowly fading to black. All thoughts were slipping away, now. No strained relationships, no crazy boss, no Monica and the monickettes, no school, no chemistry exam...

Wait! I had a chemistry exam to revise for. I literally _had_ done no revision at all. Usually, I might have winged it (or made more prepared, I mentally added) but I had already missed pretty much a whole topic when I was in Boston so I really couldn't afford to skip revising. I growled at the thought of getting out of bed now I was finally comfortable. I hadn't slept for days and when I finally did, I had to get up to revise? It isn't fair. Even so, I swung my legs lazily of the bed and zombie-walked over to the desk where my books where laying.

If I fell asleep soon, I'd be okay. Surely I could revise _and_ get a good night's sleep? I sighed. Yeah, fat chance of that.

I flung open the books and got straight to work. The faster I got this finished, the faster I could sleep. I skimmed through the books and highlighted the stuff that I thought I would definitely need to know. I wasn't looking for the highest mark on this test, I just had to pass. After a while, I heard Michael and Eve go to bed. Shane followed shortly after. I wanted to go to his room and curl up into him but I had to get this work done.

After what felt like forever, I sighed and leaned back on my chair. I had completed most of the syllabus, at last. I probably knew enough to pass, anyway. I flicked open the next page to the end of topic revision test. I contemplated doing it for a while before deciding that I probably should and getting out a pen and paper and writing down the answers. The first 4 or 5 questions were easy and I smiled to myself while going through them. I could do this. Then I looked onto the next question and my mind went blank. After a few seconds of blind panic, I skipped and went straight onto the next one. I didn't know that one either. i stared at them blankly for a few seconds. I had no idea.

The thought of having to go through them all again and re-cover all the topics made me want to cry. After a few seconds, I slammed the book shut and climbed back into bed. I tossed and turned for a while, the humid Texas night making the room sticky and horrible. Eventually, I burst into sobs. I was exhausted but I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep properly tonight, if at all. I was so exhausted, I was going to end up failing all my classes at this rate.

My eyes flicked over to my phone which lay on the bedside cabinet. In my rush to go asleep, I hadn't plugged it in but it was still charged. Myrnin's offer began to replay in my head. I shook it off quickly and lied back down. I wouldn't do drugs I wouldn't. But as. I turned onto my back to make patterns in the ceiling, all I could think about was the crystals.

They couldn't be so bad, surely? I mean, they weren't exactly great for you, but I was sure they wouldn't hurt me too badly. Images of Monica's eyes rolling back filled my head. No. That wouldn't happen to me. I'd used them before and been fine. It would be fine. It was only for a little energy boost anyway and I would stop using them as soon as my sleeping schedule was reinstated and my workload wasn't as heavy. Before I could change my mind, I grabbed my phone and clicked a few buttons, sending Myrnin a text: I'll come and get the crystals in the morning...

**OMG, so I know it's a little short but I'm having so many problems trying to keep the format and bold/italics the same when I'm typing it up on my iPad. Sorry again, but I promise that the next few chapters will be more dramatic and will be longer. Please review and follow/fave, it means the world to me!**


	4. Chapter 4

**All credit for this chapter goes to Sophie for being an absolute genius and for being so damn inspiring and motivating me to write! You go girl :D**

I awoke the next morning feel as groggy and tired as I did the night before. I'd been asleep, but it felt like I hadn't. My eyes were droopy and my legs felt weak as. I swung them over the bed. I went straight to the bathroom, feeling zombie-like and splashed ice cold water onto my face. It helped slightly, but not much.

I slumped downstairs, feeling as though the weight of the world rested on my shoulders. I went straight into the kitchen where all my friends were sitting around a table, laughing and waiting for the bacon to finish cooking. I grabbed an apple and bit into it lazily. I literally didn't have enough energy to eat.

"You're up early today," Eve noticed and I froze for a second not knowing how to reply. I was up early to go and see Myrnin before school, but that would be too difficult and risky to explain.

"The teacher wants to give us our results today, so we have to go early," I burst out, surprised at how natural the lie slipped from my tongue. I guess months of 'I'm okay, really' payed off. Michael and Shane seemed to buy it but Eve seemed suspicious.

"Wasn't that only due in today?" She asked and I swore inwardly. Why was she so damn observant?

"Different class," I said, shaking her off. I threw the apple away and threw my backpack over my shoulder. I gave Shane a quick kiss goodbye and left before Eve could push it any further. The sun was burning down on me already and I wondered if today would be one of the hottest days of the year, or if the real reason I had sweaty palms was for a totally different reason.

I was about to agree to taking drugs, I noted to myself. It didn't quite seem real: just like when you say a word so many times, it begins to sound like a random mix of jumbled up letters. Even so, I took a deep sigh as I knocked on the door of the lab. Myrnin opened it quickly, clearly expecting me. He ushered me inside and shut the door behind him. I felt my heart pound. If Myrnin was afraid of being found out, then imagine what the repercussions of getting caught with the crystals would be for me. The desperate part of my brain won over, however and I felt myself shaking away all logical thoughts.

He pressed a bag of small red crystals into my hand. I stared into them glassily. This was it. This would change everything. It would stop me being so tired and give me my life back, all I had to do was take a few. There was enough in the bag to last me a week at least. That was plenty of time to sort everything out.

"Claire," Myrnin called, snapping me out of my daze, "Are you even listening?"

"Of course," I said, feeling my heart race.

"Your heart is beating faster than normal. You're lying," I wasn't sure the fact that he could hear my heartbeat would ever _not_ be creepy. Myrnin shook his head, "I'm not going to repeat myself, Claire. Just... Be careful, okay. Don't take too much of it in a short space of time. That's strong stuff you're holding and you've seen firsthand what potential effects it can have on humans."

I felt a shiver run up spin at the memory of Monica after taking the crystals. Her eyes were rolled back in her head and her whole body was convulsing. She was limp and lifeless. I remember the fear coursing my veins. I thought I'd killed her. I feel my heart pound at the idea that it could have been me.

Myrnin's warning didn't go unnoticed, that was for sure.

"I will," I confirmed, stuffing the crystals in the back of my bag. I bowed my head, "Thank you. Myrnin,"

He shook his head, "Don't thank me, Claire. What I'm doing is wronging you. Now go, or you'll be late," He ushered me out of the door and into the street. He was right, I _was_ going to be late if I didn't hurry.

The crystals felt like they were burning a hole in the back pocket of my bag. They felt like they were weighing me down and I couldn't help but wonder if I was making a huge mistake. After all, they were addictive. Who knew if I'd be able to stop? I'd almost got addicted before. If it hadn't of been for Shane (and Monica, although I didn't want to admit that she helped me in any way), I might have carried on taking them...

I shook those thoughts out of my head and I reached class. I'd go for as long as I could without taking them and if things got really bad, I'd just have a few. Maybe half a dose. I could stop myself from having another one, I knew I could. It was only an emergency kind of thing, anyway.

_It wasn't even a big deal._

**I know it's really short but it's mock exam week and I'm failing most subjects so I kind of need to really try and get my head down. Sorry for that, but I will make next chapter a little longer to make up for it.**

**Also, I know we're four chapters in and Claire hasn't even actually taken any drugs. Well, there's a reason for that. I don't really think that taking drugs would be something that anyone would decide just out of the blue, especially a character like Claire. It's pretty serious stuff, and it would have to be something they considered for a long time before doing for it work properly. But rest assured that after the next chapter, things get dramatic, and quickly.**

**I was also want to say that Claire's views are not nessecarily my own. Due to the nature of the story, Claire will have a rose-tinted view of drugs as she's trying to convince herself that they're okay. In reality, it's quite the opposite and somewhere deep down, Claire knows that and that's why she's particularly jumpy around Eve and is questioning it a lot.**

**Anyway, this was a really long author's note but hey ho! Again, sorry for the shortness. I will make it up! I swear.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Omg. Writing is so hard when you haven't done it for months :o Like for reals, I used to be able to write thousands upon thousands of words in a night but now I can barely even strong a sentence together. Oh dear, hopefully it will come back to me. I haven't wrote anything for months but this story kept haunting me. I feel like it deserved to be continued...**

For the rest of the day, I became hyper-aware of what I was holding in my bag. My movements were quick shuffles and I backed quickly away any time someone came close to me, terrified that they would somehow be able to _sense_ what I had hidden in there. Even as I took my seat in statistics class, I threw my books on the desk and zipped my old fraying rucksack back up as quickly as I could, not wanting to be caught looking at them for too long, even going as far as too flinch when my fingers accidentally ran over them while searching for my pencil case.

The class started quickly, the professor starting a lecture on some kind of inflation. I sat forward intently, trying to focus my brain on every single word he was saying. My brain was fuzzy and my eyes felt like they were going out of focus every few seconds. It was slowly becoming hard to even keep them open, I wanted so badly to just let them close and allow my mind and thoughts to just slip away... _no, _I thought, _I can't allow myself to fail yet another class because of sleep. I am stronger than this. I can power through it._

My mind instantly went to the vial of crystals in my bag. Everything else seemed fuzzy but the idea of taking them bobbed to the surface. I sighed. Taking even a single crystal seemed like I had given up, it seemed like a failure. But then again, I'd always been told that it wasn't weak to accept help and that was what the crystals were, right? They were just a little extra help to get my through this semester until I could get a break. And this was the exact reason I agreed to even have them in the first place, so I could through my class and actually _learn something. _Nobody would have to ever know. The effects would have worn off by the time I got back home anyway. It was okay. It was no big deal. No one would even bat an eyelid.

"We're just going to take a 5 minute break," The professor announced, in almost perfect timing, breaking through my erratic thoughts, "Feel free to use the toilet or grab a drink or anything. Make sure you're all refreshed and ready to do some equations after the break,"

_Now was my chance. _I quickly grabbed my bag and swung it over my shoulder. I raced out of the room like it was on fire. I ran to the girls bathroom, checked no one was around then grabbed a small handful of crystals and swallowed them quickly, following it up with a swig of water and a mint just in case you could smell it on my breath (paranoid, but you could never really be too careful).

The relief was instantaneous. My body felt like someone has just turned the key and went from 0-60. I felt... Alive. In a way that I hadn't felt in a long time. But as for emotions, I could barely feel at all. All my worries, stress, anxiety. It was all slipping away. My thoughts were still racing but it was entirely different to before. They were no longer unorganized and crazy. Now they were focused, like turning a disco light into a flashlight. I was thinking things I had never thought about before. It was almost like I could feel my neurotransmitters working, sending a thousand impulses a second to my brain.

And the best part? I didn't feel guilty. I expected to feel some sort of remorse about having to stoop down to drugs just to get by but instead, I felt blissful nothingness. I was too excited to even worry about anything. Everything was beautiful.

Class flew by once the crystals had worked their way into my system. I took notes and remembered facts. I answered question that I didn't even know that I knew the answer to and I even managed to write an entire essay throughout the class.

As soon as the bell rang, I ran out of class with a huge smile on my face and started heading home. I knew the effects of the crystals would wear off soon enough but for once, I wasn't worrying about anything. I looked around and saw students lazing around in the sun. They all looked exhausted and sweaty, probably a mix of heat and a long day of class. I felt fine, though. In fact, I felt pretty damn great. I felt so good, I could probably dance. In fact, I will dance. I gave a little run, clicking my heels together. I saw people in the distance shooting me weird looks but the embarrassment I would have normally felt never came. I couldn't bring myself to regret the crystals. I couldn't. I wished I could have felt like this all the time. For the first time in forever, I was happy.


	6. Chapter 6

**It's not my best writing but I just find it really hard to write Claire's thoughts while she's high from the crystals. Also, sorry it's short but the next chapter is kind of important too and I didn't want to try and get too much into one chapter and rush it, if that makes sense. **

I didn't feel the crash until I was walking home. The day had gone pretty well after I took the crystals. I aced my chemistry exam and I actually understood what was going on in English literature. It was good. I felt good. Until I started crashing. I could feel a dull throb starting the back of my brain and the world was getting grayer by the second. The sun was beating down on me, which only sped up the process. _No_, I thought, _I can't crash yet_. I still had something I needed to do. There was someone I had to apologize to. I'd been a pretty awful girlfriend lately and it was about time I made it up to them. I needed to just get through the night. Then, it would be the weekend and I could sleep all I wanted without the stress of exams and schoolwork. But. I had to be in a good place when I went home.

I quickly grabbed another handful of crystals out of my pocket and swallowed them greedily, my eyes darting round automatically to make sure that no one had seen me take them. There was no one for miles.

Within seconds, I felt the high. It felt just as good as the last time. I took a deep breath as I felt my pace quicken up, the crystals making my body feel alive again. I wondered how they worked. Did they play on adrenaline, or serotonin, was it something to do with neurotransmitters. It was hard to tell. I didn't care all that much, either. It gave me results. I had results and that was what mattered.

I arrived at the Glass House in what seemed like seconds. I ran in straight away and immediately set out to find Shane. He was in the living room, playing video games. I heard him gasp and start yelling at the screen. I snook up behind him and the second he paused the game, I wrapped my arms around him. He flinched before realizing that it was just me and leant back into the hug.

"Hey stranger," he whispered. I wasn't sure if he was whispering because he didn't want to offend me or if it was because he was just so relieved that I was finally talking to him and weeks of running around like an energizer bunny with no time for anything other than school work... _Or anyone for that matter,_ I added somberly.

"Ouch," I told him, "I deserved that,"

He paused for a second before turning around so he was kneeling on the sofa. He looked me straight in the eyes for a few teasing seconds before leaning up and pressing his lips onto mine. I felt myself relax as they pressed gently down on top of mine. I deepened it without hesitating, bringing my hand up to run through his soft brown hair. He took a breath of air, leaning his head against mine. I pouted without thinking. I wasn't finished yet. He must have caught me pouting because he raised his eyebrow and gave me a cheeky grin. He pushed my lips back onto his, carrying on from where we left off. My hands immediately fell to the waistband of his jeans and I could almost feel him laughing on the inside.

"Someone's eager today," he chuckled. I gave him a smile back, trying to look sexy but probably failing miserably. He didn't seem to mind, "Not that it's a bad thing, of course. It's been weeks, if not months,"

I didn't even think before muttering, "Less talking, more banging,". I felt myself cringe somewhere deep down. I knew it was the crystals. That was the most awkward thing I'd probably said all day and normally that would be something my brain would filter out. I didn't know whether it was the crystals or Shane's body being so close but I didn't care, I just needed him.

Fortunately, he didn't seem bothered. He just laughed and whispered in my eye, "You're adorable when you're controlling,"

"Hmm," I muttered, happy to get the topic out of the way. Instead, I climbed over the back of the sofa (much to Shane's enjoyment, of course) and started pushing him down onto his back. I felt his hands run up and down my spine making me shiver even after all this time.

"Michael and Eve-" he started.

"Won't be home for hours," at this point, I didn't care if they saw us. I just wanted him. I needed to connect to him in a way that we hadn't done in ages. I loved him. I just wanted to prove it.

"My place or yours?" Shane joked breathlessly.

"How about both?" I asked, "How about right here? On this sofa? Or on the kitchen counter?"

"Woah," He breathed, his eyes going wide. I saw his brain process what this meant. We'd never been this... Adventurous before. He looked like he couldn't believe that I was the one suggesting it. Neither could I really. But I felt this racing inside me. I felt unstoppable, like nothing in the world could bring me down. I just wanted to share that feeling with him.

I straddled him, giving him a crooked smile. He let out a breath and returned the smile before grabbing my shoulders and spinning me onto my back. I squealed slightly and he chuckled and started kissing my collarbone. I moaned slightly, arching my back. This... This was worth the wait.

**It's kind of hilarious how I've been writing fanfiction for years but I still nearly vomit in my own mouth and/or sit there laughing to myself and blushing when I write anything even remotely romantic. I still call it "lovey times" in my brain when I'm writing it, for God's sakes XD It was pretty hard to write because the drugs make Claire act out of character/different to how she normally would but at the same time, I wanted to try and keep her inner voice sooo...**


	7. Chapter 7

**Well, I'd managed to write a whole chapter of this &amp; Feather Are Meant For The Sky but of course, my iPad had to freeze and collapse the app. So if this is a little rubbish, that's the reason. You start to lose passion for something when you've written it twice. I'm pretty sure that if it wasn't for Sophie, I wouldn't have even bothered re-writing it. Thank you bestie, some times I just need a good kick up the butt to get it done XD you're seriously the best!**

I woke up the next morning with a dry throat and the urge to puke. My head felt like someone had hit me with a hammer... Multiple times. Why did I ever think that the crystals could be a good idea? This... _Horrible_ feeling was _not_ worth the pain at all.

As the thoughts even entered my head, they were shot down. I instantly looked over at Shane who was sleeping peacefully next to me, snoring slightly with his hair drooping into his eyes. A ghost of a smile played on his lips. He was happy. Unless we'd magically won a million dollars, that happiness was because of me. If he was happy, it was obviously worth it. I'd been a pretty awful girlfriend- scratch that, I hadn't been enjoyable to be around in general, even to Michael and Eve who I _wasn't_ dating, God knows how Shane had felt. A hangover was something I could handle if it meant that I was forgiven for my behavior.

Something told me that last night, I'd been forgiven. It had been... Epic. That was probably the least appropriate and most awkward word to describe sex, but I couldn't think of anything else. It was like I was a new person. We were adventurous, and exciting, and for the first time in ages, it had been wildly passionate. We'd giggled like crazy when Eve and Michael came home and tried to sit on the sofa that we'd just-

I was pulled out of my reminiscing by the sound of the bathroom door opening. Finally, Eve was out of there. Now I could finally get in and start showering this hangover away. I jumped up, ready to race to the bathroom before remembering that I'd left a few crystals in the pocket of my jeans. I checked that Shane was still asleep before grabbing them and sticking them in the pocket of my hoodie instead. I contemplated reaching into my bag and pulling out the whole vial before deciding that Shane would never go snooping through my bag so I was just being paranoid. I raced into the hall as fast as my aching head would let me. Eve was just coming out of the bathroom. She was dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans and a hot pink and black ripped t-shirt. She had huge silver hoop earrings in and her hair was held up in a messy but stylish bun. I shot her a smile and she smiled back before doing a double take.

"You look like shit," she told me bluntly. I resisted the urge to wince out loud. Eve was never one for subtlety.

"That bad, huh?" I joked, wanting her to either the change the subject or let me get into the shower.

"Are you hungover?" She asked and I felt my heart in my throat, then she added, "You did seem awfully happy last night. Not that we mind, of course. Happy CB is better than the miserable Claire we've been seeing around lately,"

"No, I'm fine," I told her sharply, "It's your turn to make breakfast this morning, right?"

"Claire," she shot me a warning look, "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing," I spat, "I'm getting a shower,"

I pushed my way into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. As soon as I was in the shower, the hot water soothing my muscles and my head, I started scolding myself. Why couldn't I have just made some sort of excuse? I could have said that I'd caught a cold. I could have fibbed that Myrnin or someone had offered me some champagne or a shot in toast to something and I'd been to polite to decline? Anything other than '_I'm fine_' and '_nothing_'. That just confirmed that I had something to hide.

At least I didn't tell her about the crystals, though. I found it pretty difficult to lie but withholding the truth was a little different, and it was something I was skilled at. The crystals were only a one time thing, of course, but the idea of innocent little Claire taking drugs at all would have freaked them out. Not only would Myrnin get in trouble when I knew he was only trying to help, but it would break Shane's heart to know that our one night of happiness was really just a high that I had to get out of my system. Yeah, it was a good job I didn't tell her.

You know what? It really wasn't that big of a deal after all. She probably wouldn't even mention it again. It wasn't like she'd never been hungover before? Hell, she'd seen me hungover before, way back when Shane had been stabbed by her psycho brother, and she hadn't brought the topic up again back that, why would she now?

She would never have to. It's not like I would take the crystals ever again, anyway.

I let the water run down my back as I stared blankly into space before stepping out and switching the shower off. The change in temperature from the hot shower into the cold bathroom made me shiver and made my head start pounding harder than before. I started drying my hair off, being hyperaware of the remainder of the crystals that were stuffed into my pocket. There was enough there to get me through a few hours but hopefully, it wouldn't be enough to let my roommates know that something was wrong. Especially Eve.

I sighed. I promised myself that I wouldn't take anymore but this hangover called for it. I didn't want to spend one of my only free days with Shane and my friends lying in bed with a killer headache, did I? I wouldn't take any more tonight. No, tonight we'd be doing something all together. Fine. I'd take some more later but after that, I'd stop. Or at least start cutting down on dose sizes. If I did cut down, I'd have enough until at least Wednesday. Once the vial had run out, I'll have everything back to normal and I won't need any more anyway. I hope.

I shook my head, tipping my head back and swallowing the crystals. The clarity hit me straight away. I realized, with disappointment that it didn't feel as good as yesterday. I had obviously taken a smaller dose without realizing. Or maybe Eve's accusation had freaked me out so much that my brain didn't feel it as much. I tried to shake the bad thoughts off, smiling as they disappeared easily. Everything would be fine.

I got dried and dressed quickly, sliding on a pair of black leather-style jeans and a black and white striped t-shirt. I was in a pretty good mood. I even accessorized with a black scarf with skull patterns (blame Eve for that one, she bought it for me). Today was going to be pretty great, I could feel it now. How didn't I realize that earlier? I started singing a song I'd heard on the radio. I couldn't really remember what it was called, but I liked the lyrics. They sung to me. Get it? Because you _sing_ lyrics? No, okay. I laughed to myself at my inner joke.

_Spend my days locked in a haze_

_Trying to forget you, babe_

_I fall back down_

_Gotta stay high all my life_

_To forget I'm missing you_

I smiled to myself as I picked up my towel and swung open the bathroom door, still humming. My happy little tune came into a stop as I stepped out into the hallway, running straight into Eve.


End file.
